As a coach, I have one objective: make myself unnecessary.
As time goes on, I want to spend less time with a person.
What I’m after?
That a person can thrive and grow on his or her own.
I’m not looking to teach anything.
I’m looking to have the person teach himself.
I’m just there to help guide him on his journey.
I help the person uncover his destination.
I help the person uncover the mental and emotional tools needed to reach that destination.
I help the person uncover the energy to take steps toward that destination.
The earlier he can walk on his own, the better my guidance.
“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” – unknown origins.
Readers of my blog and people who have worked with me, know how well I’ve internalized the above expression.
It’s one of the cornerstones of my coaching philosophy.
One of the cornerstones of my life philosophy, period.
Many know the expression, few live by it.
I see people teaching others what to do, instead of the why or how.
They’re spoon-feeding others.
Like giving candy to a child.
Everyone is happy for a moment.
But it turns into dependence – may I say addiction? – over time.
There are managers, teachers, educators, mentors, more senior employees or students who do focus on the why or the how.
Not giving the junior a step-by-step guide of the “what”.
It makes the recipient ponder.
It changes the way some think or act.
But, without repetition, it won’t do much long-term.
People revert back to old habits.
Lasting change comes from within.
Sometimes it’s an accumulation of small changes.
Other times something just “clicks”.
But it always comes from within.
That’s why I call myself a coach.
Not a teacher.
Not an educator.
Not a mentor.
But a coach.
I like “guide” more.
“Coach” just makes more sense to most.
I’m on the sidelines.
I’m looking out for you.
I’m giving you guidance when needed.
I let you do all the work.
I let you get first-hand experience.
I let you make mistakes and realize something.
I can do that because I know where you’re trying to go.
The person you are. The person you can be(come).
My role is to guide you there safely.
With fewer instructions along the way.
Until I’m no longer needed.
Gratitude doesn’t come instantly.
It doesn’t come for quite a while.
After all, you’re putting in all the work.
What am I doing?
Until you’re in the position I’m in now.
Then it hits you.
The only road to lasting change.
Avoid the candy.
Learn how to fish.